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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29540175">Complications</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/annajustice/pseuds/annajustice'>annajustice</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Chicago Fire, Chicago Med, Chicago PD (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Best Friends, F/M, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:09:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,345</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29540175</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/annajustice/pseuds/annajustice</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jay Halstead and Hailey Upton are starting their 5th year of residency, but with a hospital full of nosey doctors and the everyday responsibility of holding a life in their hands, things are bound to get a little bit complicated.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jay Halstead/Hailey Upton</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>57</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Lucky Ones</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I am writing this in the style of grey’s anatomy (not chicago med), so it will follow their rules so to speak. However, i’m going to focus more on the “doctor’s” personal lives rather than crazy cases and there will be no plane crashes, ferry boat accidents, bus murders, etc. but! If you liked grey’s, this is for you. (also, yes the title is the original title of grey’s anatomy, it was my original obsession)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Welcome to the end of your life as you know it.” Hailey said, stopping her brisk walk to stare down the scared interns in front of her. They had stopped in the middle of the rotunda, where the new doctors could clearly see how busy hospital life was. “You are surgical interns, the very bottom of the food chain, and if you want to climb that food chain, you will do exactly as I say.” Hailey stood her ground, looking each one of them up and down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have three rules.” She continued, “One: Do not question the authority of anyone in this hospital, especially attendings. If you think you know better, you don’t, keep your mouth shut. Two: If someone is dying, do not play hero. You are here to learn as well as save lives. Questions are your best friend.” Hailey glanced down at the chart in her hand, seeing a hand shoot up out of the corner of her eye.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dr…” The girl said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hailey sighed, “Yes…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Vanessa, Vanessa Rojas.” She said confidently. Hailey gave her a pointed look, urging her to continue. “That was only 2…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hailey smiled, “Rule number three: trust me.” She said, with a little bit of a harsher tone. “I am your resident, I am responsible for everything you do. I am going to trust you to do your job as long as you trust me to do mine. Believe it or not, I want you to succeed and if you don’t, it’s my ass on the line as well.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dr. Upton.” Someone called behind her, Hailey rolled her eyes, turning to face the familiar voice. “Back to scaring your interns I see.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dr. Halstead.” She said, graciously taking the cup of coffee he was handing her. “Someone has to.” She turned to face her interns. “This is Dr. Halstead, if he tells you to do something, ignore him.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The three young doctors standing in front of them laughed, Jay put on a stern face. “I wouldn’t advise that.” They stopped immediately, turning their attention back to their resident. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rojas, I need post-op notes on the patients in 704, 706, 708 and 710.” Hailey squinted at the name on the lab coat of the tall man in front of her. “Atwater, Dr. Dawson needs an intern in the pit today, you’ll be there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The pit?” He asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hailey sighed, “The ER.” She turned her attention to the brunette girl standing next to him. “And-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kim Burgess.” She said, excitedly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hailey nodded, smirking. “You’ll be doing rectal exams. Find Dr. Ruzek on floor 3. He’ll show you where to go.” Jay chuckled behind her and Hailey tapped her foot. “What are you all still doing here?” In less than five seconds, they were all gone. Running off and probably getting lost in various directions. She pivoted to glare at the doctor behind her. “Do you enjoy interrupting me?” She asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jay grinned, “It’s my favorite part of the day, especially during fresh meat week.” He confessed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hailey rolled her eyes, following him as they walked up the stairs. She held up the cup in her hand. “Thanks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jay nodded, “Of course.” He cocked an eyebrow at her, “You sure about putting Ms. Sunshine with Ruzek?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hailey chuckled, “Yeah, she needs a reality check.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, Ruzek is definitely that. He might break her.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They walked in silence for a while, Hailey only speaking up when they reached the nurses station in the middle of the pre-op wing. Hailey pulled a familiar chart off the shelf and flipped it open in front of them. “So, how you holding up?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jay sighed, leaning against the high counter. “As well as I was the last time you asked. I’m fine.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Jay-” Hailey started.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hailey.” He said, a little softer this time. “I appreciate you looking out for me, really, I do. But I’m okay.” Hailey eyed him cautiously, debating pushing again. She folded, nodding her head. “Come on, we have a patient.” He nodded his head toward the open door and Hailey followed him in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She knew he wasn’t fine, but she wasn’t really surprised that he didn’t want to talk about it. They had worked together since their intern year, and Hailey had learned to read him, he was her best friend. She was just worried about him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A few weeks before, the hospital finalized their fellowships. Jay’s girlfriend, Erin, was a year ahead of them and had been given the position in neurology. They were both ecstatic, they had been worried for months about her having to move away. The year rolled over soon after, meaning Jay and Hailey were 5th years and Erin would be starting as a fellow, but she never showed. Jay found out a few days later from their chief that Erin had taken a position at a hospital in Manhattan instead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Breakups were hard anyway, but Erin disappeared without a trace, Jay hadn’t spoken to her since before she left. Hailey was trying to be supportive, but Jay was having none of it and he didn’t even know that Hailey knew about the ring. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good morning Mrs. Miller, how are you today?” Jay asked the older woman, flashing a bright smile. He checked her vitals while Hailey read over the chart again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mrs. Miller returned it, “Ready to get out of here.” She said, teasing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hailey laughed, “Well, hopefully it won’t be too much longer. There will be someone here in a little bit to prep you for surgery, along with Dr. Platt who will be performing it. Dr. Halstead and I will be assisting.” Hailey couldn’t hide her excitement, even though they didn’t officially declare their specialty for another year, there was no doubt in her mind that she was going into cardio. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dr. Platt is the best in the business.” Jay said, reassuring the woman, she looked nervous.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hailey nodded, agreeing with him. “Well, we’ll let you get some rest. We’ll be back in a little while.” They bid the woman goodbye, and Jay pulled her aside outside of the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you see how low her white cell count was?” He asked in a hushed tone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Hailey said, grimacing. “Jay, she’s got a leaky valve. There could be a clot in her spleen, we need to open her up now.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A valve replacement in an extremely invasive surgery, if we open her up and we’re wrong, she could bleed out on the table.” Jay explained.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hailey shrugged, “Well then get another X-ray,” She snapped before turning to face the page nurse at the station. “Page Dr. Platt, we need her for a consult. Quickly.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The nurse muttered a “yes doctor,” and Jay rolled his eyes at how quickly her tone changed, she spoke much nicer to the nurses than she did to him. “Hailey.” He said, grabbing her attention. “You know I trust your judgement, but we don’t want to jump to conclusions. We can’t compromise a surgery we know she needs on a hunch.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hailey sighed, “You’re right, I just...Mrs. Miller has been waiting for this for so long and I guess I’m just anxious to see it through.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jay nodded, “I get it.” He eyed her, hoping maybe she wasn’t quite as angry as she was before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not too close.” She said, defending herself. That had always been her thing, she was a hell of a surgeon, but she got too emotionally invested in her patients. It was strange, to everyone else she seemed stone cold, it was like there was this look on her face that only Jay could decipher. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jay shook his head, “I never said you were.” He took a step forward, squeezing her shoulder. “You just care about your patients, it’s what makes you such a great doctor.” He walked past her, turning around after a few feet, “I’m going to go order that X-ray, I’ll page you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hailey nodded, taking a deep breath as she watched him walk away. She leaned against the nurses station, going over the chart again. She was pulled out of her trance by their head of cardio. “What we got?” Trudy asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hailey shrugged, motioning to the freshly updated chart. “We aren’t exactly sure…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>…</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kim wandered through the maze of hallways and doctors, checking every lab coat for the name she was looking for. When she saw the nurses station up ahead, she smiled, picking up the pace. Suddenly, she felt like she ran into a wall. “Ugh.” She groaned as she hit the floor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Woah.” Someone said, Kim rolled over and saw a man standing over her. “You okay there darlin’?” He asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kim huffed, ignoring his outstretched hand and standing up. She wasn’t one for pet names. “Yes, I’m fine. Thank you.” She said shortly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man laughed, looking her up and down. “I’ve never seen you before, you must be new.” He held his hand out, “Adam Ruzek.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Dr. Ruzek…” Kim mumbled under her breath. Of course, the one person she is supposed to be looking for is the person she collided with. She noticed his stare, “Oh, sorry, I’m Kim.” She took his hand, shaking it. “Burgess, Kim Burgess. I’m one of Dr. Upton’s interns, she um, she sent me to find you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Adam chuckled, nodding. “Alright, Dr. Burgess.” He said, leaning into her. “What can I do for you?” He ushered her over to the nurses station. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was told I was on rectal exams? That you would help me.” Kim explained. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Adam shook his head, letting out a breath. “Wow. She’s still busting my balls.” Kim sent him a questioning look. “I was one of Upton’s interns last year, she’s a hardass, but a great surgeon.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then I’m glad to be one of her’s.” Kim said, smiling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Adam scoffed, “Yeah, you say that now.” He nudged her shoulder. “Now, welcome to being an intern. It’s glorious.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hailey stood in the operating room with Dr. Platt, they were on stand by while the general fellow removed Mrs. Miller’s spleen. She had been right about the blood clot, it was confirmed by the X-ray that Jay ordered. They had taken Mrs. Miller to surgery immediately, before the clot could put any more stress on her heart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dr. Casey dropped the spleen in the dish beside them before taking a step back, there was too much damage to the blood flow to leave it in. “She’s all yours.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Trudy nodded, “Thank you doctor.” She said, “Upton, is Halstead joining us?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hailey shook her head, “He had to scrub in with Dr. Dawson on a trauma case.” She explained.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright then, why don’t you close up her abdomen, then you can join me up here.” Trudy said, and Hailey nodded. They didn’t see 3 surgeons for this, and Matt probably had other patients to see. Hailey began to suture the skin closed. “Scalpul,” Trudy ordered, holding her hand out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As soon as they opened her chest, blood flooded the field. “I need suction.” Trudy called and Hailey hastily moved to help. “The tissue must have been suppressing the leak. Hang another unit, she’s going to bleed out.” Hailey began to pack any area she could, but even if they could control it, the blood flow was blocking the aorta. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The machine above them began to beep. “She’s in a-fib.” Hailey called. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Doctor, she’s lost nearly a fourth of her blood volume.” A nurse said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They fought like hell for the next ten minutes to save the woman, but she bled out on the table. Hailey stared absently as everyone stepped back, finding the clot was supposed to save her life, but instead it delayed them. “Call it, Dr. Upton.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Hailey asked, her head snapping up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Trudy sighed, “Your patient, call it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hailey nodded, taking a deep breath and looking down at her watch. “Uh, time of death, 15:36.” She rushed away from the pale body, ditching her gown and gloves in the trash by the door. She needed air. She pushed the heavy door open, finally taking a breath when she reached the hallway. Hailey leaned against the wall, pulling her scrub cap off and running a hand through her hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hailey!” Someone called, she looked up to see Jay running towards her, still wearing his own cap. He must have just gotten out of surgery. “I just pulled four pieces of rebar out of someone's bowl-what’s wrong?” He stopped mid-sentence, taking in her disheveled appearance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hailey shrugged, “She bled out, we lost her.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jay sighed, pulling Hailey into his chest. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for them to lose a patient, but Mrs. Miller had been Hailey’s for weeks, she had grown attached. Hailey enjoyed his embrace for a moment before pulling herself together. “You good?” Jay asked, placing a hand on her arm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hailey nodded, “Yeah, I’m good. Just, I wasn't expecting that today.” Hailey took a breath, “Rebar huh?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Jay said, taking a step back. “Molly’s tonight? I get off at 7:00.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sounds good, I’ll meet you there.” Hailey said, she gestured to her bloody scrubs, “I’m going to go change, I’ll see you later.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Later,” Jay called, watching her walk away. He hated seeing Hailey upset, he always had. They had been close for as long as he could remember, she’s the only reason he even passed his intern exam. And while they had been best friends for years, he found himself leaning on her more and more recently. Erin had been gone a month, and without a reason to split his time, he was happy to spend it all with Hailey. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Quite frankly, it was scaring him. He was still twisting in the wind from the pain of losing Erin, the ring he bought still shoved in the back of his locker. But, as Hailey rounded the corner, he wondered if maybe he had been missing something all along. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>…</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Vanessa collapsed onto the bench in the breakroom, she was only halfway through her first 48 hours and she was already beat. She spent the whole morning writing post-op notes and filling out discharge papers, her hand felt like it was going to fall off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The door above her swung open, revealing a doctor she believed to be named Kevin. He was grinning from ear to ear as he headed for a locker across the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She scoffed, “What’s with the teeth?” She asked, bored.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kevin chuckled, grabbing the water bottle out of his locker. “I just scrubbed in with Dawson and Halstead.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No way.” Vanessa said, turning to face him. “You already got in on a surgery? Tell me everything.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well…” Kevin drawed out, he took a seat across from her on the bench. “I’m not sure that ‘in’ is the best word for it, but I watched them pull rebar out of the guy's abdomen, it perforated the bowel and everything.” He explained. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Vanessa laughed, “Okay hotshot, what’d you do? Hold the bucket?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kevin smirked, “For your information, I held the rebar in place.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, all I’m hearing is that I still have a chance to cut before you?” Vanessa asked, looking him up and down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You making it a competition now?” Kevin asked, eyebrows raised. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Vanessa stood, waltzing across the room to her own locker. “Oh, it was always a competition.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kevin stood, walking over to her. She had a blank expression on her face, looking at him with an intense stare. He got close, maybe a little too close, and reached above her to grab the apple sitting on her top shelf. “Game on.” He backed away slowly, taking a bite out of the apple, he held it up. “Thanks for this.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Vanessa stood there in shock, watching him as he disappeared down the hallway. She stifled a laugh, shaking her head. She was going to have to watch out for him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>…</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hailey sat at a bar table near the back of Molly’s, the bar right down the street from the hospital. All the doctors frequented it, and it was great for residents and interns who were sticking to water and just wanted to be the first on scene for traumas. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The bar was owned by two of the doctors at the hospital, but obviously run by their staff. Hailey honestly felt bad for the patrons who weren’t members of the medical field, the constant beeping of pagers and tispy doctors drinking off their cases probably isn’t very appealing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a ringing that sounded through the bar, Hailey looked up just as Jay found her across the room. He smiled softly before making his way to her. “Hey.” He said, taking the open seat. “You beat me here, that’s new.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hailey shrugged, “My last surgery got canceled, so I managed to leave on time.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jay held up a hand to her forehead, looking at her with a concerned expression. “Are you feeling okay? Because I’m pretty sure you just told me that you left on time…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hailey swatted at his hand, rolling her eyes. “Okay, enough.” She leaned on her hand, “Just be proud that I did.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am.” Jay said, mimicking her. They sat there for a moment, just looking at each other before Jay cracked a smile. “I’m gonna get a beer, you want another?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please.” Hailey said, nodding. She watched him make his way to the front, ordering for the two of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When she looked back over, Kelly Severide was sliding into the seat next to her. “Hey.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Sev.” She said, turning to face him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Quick question…” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hailey chuckled, “Okay.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shifted the guide her gaze across the bar, both of their eyes falling on a tall woman with curly, dark brown hair. “Who the hell is she, and where did she come from?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hailey shrugged, “I have no idea…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stella Kidd.” Jay said from behind them, setting a beer down in front of her. “She’s the new trauma fellow. She’s cool, I talked to her for a little bit earlier today.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kelly scoffed, “I’m the trauma fellow.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Boden asked for a new position, Voight signed off.” Jay explained, sliding onto the stool on the other side of Hailey. Kelly made a face and Jay laughed, “Don’t worry Sev, I’m sure you’re still his favorite.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ha.” Kelly said dryly, “How do you know all this anyway?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jay smirked, “I spent five hours in the OR with Dawson today.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, I’m leaving before I punch you.” Kelly said, smacking the table playfully. “I thought fellows were supposed to have all the fun.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See you later.” Hailey laughed, raising her beer at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, see ya.” Jay said as Kelly walked away, throwing a wave over his shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hailey turned to face her best friend, “That trauma fellowship is yours next year, 100%.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jay smiled, taking a sip of his beer. “Really? You think so?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“For sure.” Hailey nodded, sitting back in her chair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He eyed her, taking a breath. “You gonna stay here?” He asked, anxiously awaiting her response. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hell yeah.” Hailey said without hesitation, causing Jay to let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “I mean, if I get the chance. Chicago’s home, I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.” She said honestly, taking note of the way his demeanor softened. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good.” Hailey watched him, the reason for his nerves weren’t lost on her. She knew what was going through his head: he couldn’t lose someone else the way he lost Erin. And she couldn’t bear to lose him either. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She took a sip of her beer. “Do you think we’re testing fate? Talking about it so far in advance?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Jay shook his head, “No, I don’t think so. It was all Erin-” He stopped himself, he couldn’t remember the last time he said her name. “-It was all she would talk about…” He took a big gulp of his drink. “It worked out great for her.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hailey smiled softly, even if it was bitter or in passing, it was comforting to hear him at least acknowledge what happened. Jay had a thing for suppressing his feelings, he always had. “Well I plan on kicking your ass in the OR for as long as possible.” She teased.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m counting on it.” They sat there just looking at each other for a little while, enjoying the other’s company. Jay was about to say something, but it sounded like every pager in the room went off. He looked down at the small device attached to his hip. “911, multi-car pile up. You good to go?” He asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hailey glanced at her half empty bottle and the one she had finished over half an hour ago. “Yeah, I’m good. Let’s go.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two raced out of the bar along with several other doctors, all of them running down the street to the hospital they had just left. </span>
  <em>
    <span>The game never ends. </span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. A Warning Sign</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Jay Halstead and Hailey Upton are starting their 5th year of residency, but with a hospital full of nosey doctors and the everyday responsibility of holding a life in their hands, things are bound to get a little bit complicated.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kim was laying on her back on the bench in the locker room when her pager went off again, she groaned. She was 6 hours away from finishing her first shift and she wasn’t sure she was going to make it. Kevin leaned his head against his locker, closing his eyes for a second, but he was interrupted by Vanessa who burst through the door. </p><p>“Guys, there was an accident on 90, it’s bad.” She exclaimed. </p><p>Kim sat up reluctantly, running a hand through her hair. “Then why are you smiling?”</p><p>Vanessa rolled her eyes, “Lots of cars means lots of injuries, which means lots of surgeries.” She said in a “duh” tone. “Let’s go.” </p><p>The door slammed behind her and Kim looked at Kevin in disbelief. “She’s like a surgery hungry robot.” She said. </p><p>Kevin chuckled, grabbing Kim’s hand and pulling her up. “Yeah, but she’s not wrong. Come on.” </p><p>The two of them chased after Vanessa, stopping dead in their tracks when they reached the ER. Every doctor in the room was busy doing something: prepping a bed, restocking shelves, and the hallways were being set up with IV drips and monitors. “Holy shit.” Kim muttered and Vanessa grinned, grabbing a gown and pulling it on. </p><p>Hailey pulled a trauma gown on over her street clothes, turning to let Jay tie the back of it closed. They switched, Hailey having to stand on her toes to reach. “Thanks.” He said, turning back around. Hailey nodded, turning her attention back to the drop off zone. </p><p>Soon the sound of sirens was clear throughout the ER, all of the available doctors standing their ground. Hailey turned spotting her interns standing near the back. She waved them over, all of them breaking out into a run. “It’s gonna get crazy, stay out of the way. Wait here for a resident or an attending to grab you. Remember what I said: don’t play hero.” </p><p>They all nodded, a chorus of “yes ma’ams” and “okays” sounding. Before they could ask any questions, their attention was drawn to an incoming victim. </p><p>“Mike Harris, 37, restrained driver. Deep head laceration, but stable.” The paramedic said, passing off the victim to Adam, “His son is coming in behind us.” </p><p>Adam nodded, taking over the stretcher, “I’ll take him, Burgess your with me.” He called over his shoulder. Kim looked at Hailey, silently asking for permission. Adam wasn’t exactly an attending. Hailey shooed her away, and Kim took off running after him. </p><p>“Greyson Harris, 9, restrained back seat passenger. Low breath sounds in the field, rigid abdomen.” Hailey rushed forward, grabbing the gurney. “It looked like he was thrown into the center seat.” </p><p>Hailey walked with the paramedic, “Thank you, I got this.” She looked up, attempting to grab a younger resident, but Jay was already at her side. “You with me?” She asked, as they raced for a trauma room. </p><p>Jay nodded, “I’m with you.” </p><p>Kevin watched carefully as more patients flooded the room. “Hey!” He heard someone shout, he snapped his head up. “Atwater, let’s go.” Dr. Dawson said as he wheeled passed him. </p><p>“Yes sir.” Kevin said, smiling softly to himself. </p><p>Vanessa waited anxiously by the door, the only person left from her team. She was itching to see the inside of an OR, something she had made very clear to Kevin after he spent the afternoon removing foriegn objects from a guy's stomach. She had heard Kim’s comment as she fled the locker room, she might have been wrong, but it seemed more endearing than hateful. Not that it mattered what anyone else thought of her, the only person she cared about impressing was Hailey Upton.</p><p>It sounded cold, but she didn’t have space for friends, she never had. She grew up in foster care, she lost count of how many homes she went through, but she caught a lucky break near the end. Vanessa worked her ass off in college, and then worked to pay her med school debt as she went. She didn’t have time to be nice or make acquaintances. They were all there for one reason: to be the best surgeon in the program. There was no point in acting like they were there for anymore more. </p><p>The next gurney rolled in with a familiar doctor already on top of it, Vanessa watched as she performed compressions, taking note of shrapnel cutting into the guys head. Dr. Kidd looked up, noticing her. “Don’t just stare, let’s go.” She snapped, and Vanessa was immediately at her side, guiding the gurney. “Trauma 3.” </p><p>They got the gurney in the room, Stella carefully climbing off. There was another man, sporting the same light grey scrubs as Vanessa. “He’s tachycardic.” A nurse said.</p><p>“Rojas, what do we do?” </p><p>“Push 2 of lidocaine.” She said quickly. Stella nodded at the nurse, who followed the order. She watched the monitor. “Are we going to attempt to remove the shrapnel? It’s probably cutting into his brain tissue-”</p><p>“It won’t matter if it’s cutting into his brain tissue if his heart stops.” Stella snaps, staring Vanessa down. She nods, taking a step back. The fast beeping sound covering the silence of the room slows, and they all let out a breath. “He’s stable.” Stella says, turning to face her interns. “Gallo, do a full workup and page neuro. We are definitely going to need help and I don’t want to risk a rupture with a CT right now. Rojas, find an ID and get in touch with the family.” <br/>Vanessa’s face falls, “Dr. Kidd, I’m sorry if I-” </p><p>“Rojas, if I tell you to do something, you do it.” She snaps, “This isn’t a punishment, it’s called being a good doctor.” With that she flees the room. </p><p>Gallo turns to her, looking like he’s going to word vomit an inspirational speech. Vanessa holds her hand up, sighing. She didn’t need him to make her feel better, she didn’t need anyone. </p><p>…</p><p>There were times as a doctor where life in general just felt pointless, and the night before has proven to be one of those nights. Vanessa spent the whole time running around the hospital searching for the parents of the teenager she was caring for, only to have to inform them that their son was braindead. Kevin’s patient was pregnant, and didn’t have a fighting chance from the start, they lost the baby too. Kim and Adam had to watch the light go out in their patients eyes as they were told that their son had died, because despite Jay and Hailey spending the entire night in the OR, they were not able to save him. </p><p>Not one team of doctors had come out on top, they were all mourning the loss of someone when the sun came up and it was only the interns second day. </p><p>Kim sat on the bench in front of her locker, staring blankly. It wasn’t her patient that was lost, but it was the first time in her career that someone near her had died. They didn’t prepare you in med school for death. They taught you how to handle high stress situations and how to make the most accurate diagnosis, they even taught you the correct way to notify a patient's family. But they never taught you to carry that death on your own. </p><p>She ran a hand through her hair that was once in a ponytail, but now was half out and stuck to her face. For a second she considered herself lucky, she wasn’t coated in blood or vomit like lots of other interns, at least she didn’t have a reminder literally stuck to her. </p><p>She glanced down at the watch on her wrist, goraning. She only had two hours until her next shift, which meant her name was written on an uncomfortable cot somewhere in an on-call room. Kim pushed herself off the bench and shuffled out of the room, not even acknowledging Kevin as she passed him. She pushed open the door of the nearest room, taking in the darkness thanks to the blackout curtains. She collapsed onto the mattress, rolling on her back. </p><p>Light flooded the room when the door was pushed open again, causing Kim to throw an arm over her eyes. “Sorry, I didn’t realize anyone was in here.” A familiar voice said. </p><p>Kim sat up, “It’s fine, there are two beds for a reason.” </p><p>Adam nodded, shutting the door behind him. Kim expected him to jump on the top bunk but instead he sat on the floor against the wall next to her. “How ya doin?” He asked, hands resting on his knees. </p><p>“Fine.” She lied, shrugging. </p><p>“Okay.” Adam said, giving her a lopsided smile. Kim rolled her eyes, laying back down on her side to face him. “You know you don’t have to be?” </p><p>Kim scoffed, “Right. You’re saying if Dr. Upton or Dr. Olinksy walked in through the door right now and saw me all bent out of shape after one bad case, they wouldn’t consider kicking me out of the program?” </p><p>Adam let out a light laugh, shaking his head. “No, I’m saying it’s just me. And you don’t have to pretend to be fine with me.” </p><p>His forwardness shocked her, but it shouldn’t have. She had only known him two days, but those two days had shown her that she had never met anyone like him before. “Thanks.” She said quietly, noticing their close proximity. </p><p>“Yeah, anytime.” He said, leaning his head on the railing of the bed. </p><p>Kim glanced down at his lips and then met his eyes, she didn’t miss a beat, leaning in and pressing her lips to his. It was extremely out of character for her, but he was sitting there looking so vulnerable in the dark and she needed to feel something. Adam shifted forward, caught off guard. He threaded his fingers through her hair. She pulled him closer to her, tugging him onto the bed. </p><p>“You sure?” Adam asked, pulling away for a moment. Kim nodded and he jumped up, locking the door and shedding his shirt before joining her on the twin bed. </p><p>…</p><p>Kevin watched as Kim disappeared into the on-call room, looking like someone had run over her dog. He could relate, he lost a mom and a baby, that was the kind of thing that sticks with you. He was lucky that his attending was so caring and insisted on making the notification himself, because Kevin wasn’t sure he could have held it together if he had been the one to inform the husband that his wife and child were dead. </p><p>He entered the locker room, shocked to find Vanessa looking just as distraught as him. He had half expected her to latch onto another case. The room was silent as he passed by her, pulling open his locker to get a fresh pair of scrubs. His were covered in blood. </p><p>“So much for being a surgery hungry robot.” Vanessa said cynically, breaking the silence. </p><p>Kevin spun around, grimacing. “You heard?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Vanessa nodded, Kevin started again but she waved him off. “It’s fine, I took it as a complement.” </p><p>He sat down next to her, giving her a weak smile. “I think it was meant as one, I wish I could turn it all off.” </p><p>“Ha.” Vanessa said, turning to face him. 12 hours ago she would have agreed with him, but now she wasn’t even sure it was possible. “Me too.” That sat there in silence for a minute, both of them just trying to catch their breath after the night they had. “You know, I still got to cut before you.” She said, and Kevin wasn’t sure if she was bragging or just trying to lighten the mood. </p><p>Kevin cocked an eyebrow, “Really?” </p><p>“Yeah, I removed a piece of shrapnel from a 17 year olds brain post mortem.” She said, her eyes glassy, Kevin sighed as their eyes met. “You win.” </p><p>He didn’t doubt that he did, under normal pretenses that would have been one of the best 1st surgerys ever, but dead kids are never what you want on your table. He laid a hand on her shoulder, “Come on, we’ve got a few hours. I’ll buy you a coffee.” </p><p>Vanessa looked up at him, surprised. She wasn’t prepared for his kindness, not after what they all just went through. And maybe it was because her expectations were always below the floor, but she wasn’t sure that Kevin would ever understand how much his small gesture meant to her. She was still there to be the best and only the best. Nothing had changed, she didn’t need anyone, but maybe she wanted to.</p><p>…</p><p>Hailey sat on the couch in the doctors lounge, her feet tucked up under her. It wasn’t the first time she’d lost a patient - hell - it wasn’t the first time she’d lost a patient that week, but losing a kid was never easy. This wasn’t a case that would warrant an M&amp;M, grand scheme, it wasn’t much of anything. It was cut and dry, they knew exactly what happened and why they couldn’t fix it, but it didn’t make it any easier. </p><p>The sound of the door opening caught her attention, it was Jay, and he was holding a cup of coffee. She didn’t bother to get up or smile at him, she’d stopped doing that a long time ago. There was no point, somehow he was able to read her like a book (it was mutual). She nodded at him as he handed her the cup, taking a seat next to her on the couch. He wore the same expression that she did, cases with kids always hit him hard. </p><p>He credited it to his time overseas, all the kids he couldn’t save, he always got attached to peds cases when they came in. It was like he was atoning for his sins. “It wasn’t your fault Hailes.” He said, reading her mind. </p><p>Hailey flattened her cheek against the back of the couch, looking over at him. “You either.” A small smile graced Jay’s face, she knew him too well. “What a way to start a shift.” Hailey said, taking a sip of her coffee, the right order of course. She wasn’t sure Jay had gotten her the wrong thing since their intern year, despite her own taste buds evolving. </p><p>“For sure.” Jay said, matching her position with his cheek pressed against the couch. He took her in, noticing the tired look in her bright blue eyes and the creases in her forehead. And despite them being so close and how honest they were with each other, he hated when she still decided that she had to deal with things alone. “You good?” He asked, he already knew the answer, but he needed to say something.</p><p>Hailey sighed, looking down at her hands. “No.” She said honestly - once again - there was no point in lying to him. She looked up to see Jay’s concerned expression grow. “But, I will be.” And she wasn’t lying, she would be okay in a few hours. When she eventually forgot the boy's face and the way his father broke down in front of them, it was cold and maybe too harsh, but carrying the burden of every patient you ever lost was too hard. She had learned that the hard way. </p><p>“Okay.” He said, it wasn’t the answer he wanted, but it’s the best either of them could do. “Can we talk about something?” He asked, turning to face her. </p><p>Hailey nodded immediately, settling in against the arm. “Yeah, of course. Is something wrong?” </p><p>“No,” He said, “I’ve just been thinking lately about next year.” Hailey's heart began to beat faster, they had just talked about their plans the night before and she thought they were on the same page. “I know we said that I had the trauma fellowship in the bag, but I’m not sure if I want it.” He said and Hailey wasn’t sure if she was breathing.</p><p>“What?” Hailey asked, dumbfounded. </p><p>He took a deep breath, “I think I want to go into pediatrics. I love trauma and I’m good at it, but I think peds is where I need to be.” Hailey sat there frozen, “What do you think?” </p><p>“Jay,” She said, scooting toward him on the couch. She let out a breath that she knew she was holding, she was worried he was going to say that he was leaving. “I think that’s a great idea! You are so good with the kids, yes, go for it.” </p><p>“Really?” He asked, a smile breaking out on his face. </p><p>Hailey nodded, sharing his smile. “Yeah.”</p><p>Jay closed the gap between them, wrapping her in a hug. “What would I do without you, Hailey Upton?” He asked quietly in her ear. </p><p>She grinned bigger, feeling her cheeks heat up a bit. “Probably get yourself killed.” She said, teasing him. She pulled away as he rolled his eyes, giving her a look. She shook her head, reaching out and grabbing his hand that was sitting in his lap, “I don’t know what I would do without you either.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry for the delay, I rewrote this chapter 3 times and I’m sure I love this, but it’s just a filler so, the next ones will be better! Thanks for reading! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I am SO excited to write this, I’ve been working on it for a few weeks. I don’t know about you, but I get major Cristina vibes from Vanessa, and I know that it seems like I’m writing Kim like Izzie, but I promise Iam not! She will not be cutting anyone’s LVAD wires! Let me know what you think! Thanks fo reading &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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